


For Now

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 17:04:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9831896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Follow-up to Eventually.Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	

“You okay, kid?” Morgan asked, looking across the room toward Reid who was sitting in a stupor. 

Spencer shook the feelings off, leaving the notepad in Y/N’s desk and returning to his own. Today was going to be a really long day. All he wanted to do right now was run down the stairs and to Y/N’s apartment. He had so much he needed to say. So much he needed to know. So much he needed her to know. All sorts of emotions were running through his head like a freight train. Not only did he have eight hours until work was over, he had to battle his brain so he could actually do his work. The end of the day couldn’t come soon enough.

——-

A new day. A fresh start. So why did you feel like hell? Did you make a mistake? Should you have just fought your feelings until they went away so you could continue doing the job you loved? Sure, you were honored to have been sought out by George Washington University, and you loved the subjects (obviously, you had a Ph.D. to show for it), but you loved your job at the BAU. Why did life have to be so complicated? Why did you have to develop feelings for Spencer?

As you walked out of your bedroom, you wondered what you were supposed to do for the next month. The job at the University didn’t start until the beginning of the fall semester, but you figured you’d take that month to get your emotions in order. Until then, you had no idea what you were going to do. Your weekly therapy appointment was today, so there was that, but otherwise, you were going to be sitting around the apartment thinking about what would’ve happened had life gone differently.

——-

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the end of the day came into focus. Originally, Garcia had mentioned possibly going out together for dinner, but everyone was in such a numb mood from the loss of their friend that everyone just decided to go home. That was better for Spencer anyway. If everyone had gone out, he would’ve ducked out so he could go talk to Y/N. 

During the 15-minute-long drive to her apartment, he went through all of the possible things he could say to her. Where was he supposed to start? Did he start by asking why she left? Maybe why she left without telling him? Should he just come out with it and tell her that he loved her too? He tried to formulate a plan, but his mind jumped all over the place until he found himself parked in front of her apartment building. 

As his knuckles rapped against the wooden door of apartment 17, his heartbeat raced. “Why?” he asked, his deep, thought-provoking questions flying out of his head upon seeing her face.

“Hey, Spence,” she replied softly. “Why what?”

“Why did you resign without telling anyone? You used to tell me everything. How could you not mention that you were leaving?” Again, he imagined having a calm conversation with her, but his brain just vomited every thought he’d had over the past day.

She hesitated, not sure what to say. “My family needs…”

“You tell me everything,” he said, cutting her off, “You’ve mentioned that your grandparents are getting sick, but you never made a mention of your parents needing help. Unless you didn’t tell me that too.” The pain in his eyes made her heart ache. “Y/N…you left a notepad at work. In one of the bottom drawers.”

A look of recognition dawned upon her. She brought her hand up to her mouth and attempted to stifle the embarrassment, but she couldn’t stop herself from blushing. “You saw…what I wrote?” she asked, looking down at her feet as she shuffled them back and forth. The image before him was one he wasn’t used to; the Y/N he knew was confident and in control, not the small, embarrassed woman he saw now.

Spencer nodded. “You didn’t l-leave because of me, did you?” he asked, the thought beyond his understanding. 

“I couldn’t be around you every day knowing you’d never see me that way…it hurts too much. I’m sorry, Spence,” she said. She started to cry, turning away from the door and attempting to close it in his face.

His arm reached out to stop it in his tracks before she could fully close it. “Y/N,” he cracked, “I could understand that if that were the case, but I do…love you.” A tear dropped from his eye as a light came back into her eyes. “What would make you think otherwise? Why wouldn’t you just tell me how you felt?”

“Because I’m a coward,” she said directly. It was the most confident she’d spoken since she opened the door. “The idea of you not wanting me was enough for me to say nothing, but saying nothing got too painful, so I looked for a way out.”

Before he could tell her just how ludicrous she sounded, he grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him. He couldn’t stand seeing her so hurt. On cases, he’d seen her sobbing for a victim, but this kind of hurt -the kind that just tugged at her heartstrings and left her numb - that he couldn’t stand seeing. As his tears mixed with hers, he slid his hand into her hair and brushed his lips up against her skin. “But I do want you,” he whispered, sliding his tongue into her mouth.

A whimper escaped her as their lips met and she wrapped her arms around him. “Why did you give up your job because of me?” he asked again, cradling her head in his chest. She said nothing, instead just swaying back and forth in his arms in the middle of the hallway. “Do you really want to work at GW? I mean, if you do, I’ll learn to live without seeing you every day at work, but if you don’t even want to work there I’m sure Hotch would let you come back; no one wanted you to go anyway.”

Y/N just cried, getting as close to him as she possibly could. “I have no idea about anything anymore,” she laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes as she brought him into her apartment. “I thought I knew about your feelings for me. At one point, I thought I wanted this teaching position, but now I don’t know anything. For now…just kiss me. I’ll figure out the rest of it later.


End file.
